Trouser Stiffener?

A potent drink of considerable stickiness and Polish origin, such as when spilt by an inebriate onto the legs of an innocent fellow-reveller will render said fellow-reveller unable to walk shortly thereafter not because of its potency but because of its stickiness and tendency to set solid.

The origin of its name is to be found at a stairparty during a Science Fiction convention one Easter at the Adelphi Hotel, Liverpool, England, during the course of which the very last of a bottle of this delectable hooch was spilt by some careless ruffian onto the right thigh of Beetle, who discovered as a result that whilst licking one's own elbow is impossible, it is not more difficult than is trying to suck good booze out of the upper leg of one's own trousers. Modesty forbids that one strip them off in public, and after a short time it got a bit drunk out and the incident was forgotten until the following morning, at which time owing to circumstances too complicated to try to recount (or even recall) Beetle, who had been sleeping on someone else's bathroom floor, put the trousers in question back on instead of finding a clean pair, and went down to breakfast wearing them and walking with a definite limp owing to the fact that their right leg had set stiff as a board during the night.

TS is the bevvy of choice among many of the inhabitants of Abthite. The fact that Beetle has been known to swim in a bowl of it placed on the bar of the Lundqvist Arms by the Buxom Barmaid is merely evidence that Beetle likes to live dangerously. So far, Beetle has not set solid on emerging from this bath, but the day may yet come. If it does we can rely on Hudson to render first and second aid by licking.

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Text by a Beetle; hosting by the Sinister Firedrake Conspiracy

Last updated: Sat, 15 Jul 2006 22:11:23 +0100